


Dealing with Guilt

by Ncredible



Series: Post Crisis [3]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Danvers Sisters, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Felicity Smoak mention - Freeform, Gen, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Post-Crisis on Infinite Earth, Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:21:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22563928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ncredible/pseuds/Ncredible
Summary: Kara gets a text that Oliver's funeral is the next day and it brings up feelings of guilt she has about Oliver's deal with the Monitor. Alex is there to help her sister work some of he guilt.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen
Series: Post Crisis [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621168
Kudos: 22





	Dealing with Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter doesn't have a lot of moments between Alex and Kelly but I am working on another chapter that focuses more on the two of them.

Game night was winding down, William and J’onn had already left for the night. Alex and Kelly were snuggling up on the couch, talking and giggling softly to one another while Nia, Winn, and I played another round of Jenga. 

There's a ping from my phone, and my mood shifts, it was the one I had set for the other heroes in my contacts list. I get up from my spot on the floor around my coffee table and retrieve my phone from where I left it on the island earlier in the night. 

Alex looks over at me and notices my shift in mood immediately, "Hey, Kar, you okay?" She untangles herself from Kelly's embrace and comes over to where I am standing, staring at my phone in my hand.

Looking away from the text I tell the room, “it’s about Oliver. John Diggle just texted. His funeral is Tuesday.” 

Alex pulls me into a tight hug and whispers into my ear, “I’m so sorry.” 

Nia stood up and confused; she asks, "I thought they had his funeral right after Crisis." 

I pull out of my sister's embrace and look over at Nia, "They did. For the public. Where the rest of us were in our suits honoring him. I mean, I can't imagine Oliver would have actually have wanted  
Lex Luthor at his funeral. This one is for his family and his team. Felicity… um… she's gonna be at this one." I can't help the feelings of guilt I have thinking about Felicity and the children she now has to raise alone. 

“You know, Oliver Queen is pretty famous in the future. There are a ton of chapters in every history book dedicated to him. If you think Kara is popular for girls, his name is popular for boys. There are gonna be a ton of archers over the next thousand years in tribute to the Green Arrow. You know, I gotta tell you considering all the stuff in history books Oliver Queen seemed a nice enough guy, little intense, but nice and….” Winn gushes. 

"Maybe you shouldn't say anymore," Nia says, interrupting Winn's musings about Oliver Queen. 

Realizing what he had just said, “Oh crap! You’re right. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Despite myself, I find myself asking, "You met Oliver Queen? How is that even possible? He died in the Crisis," then I think of something, and to myself, I add, "he became something else." 

Winn is in back-pedaling mode, “I didn’t! That would be crazy meeting a 21st-century hero in the 31st century. I just meant that his arrow flame still burns bright in the Hall of Justice, along with his original suit. There is some debate among historians if it was his suit from the beginning of his journey or if it was the first one, he wore as the Green Arrow." 

"It was his suit when they called him the Hood, Sara thought we should honor how far he had come, and there was something about that hood being special," I tell the room. 

"So, you met him? I'm confused as to how that's possible," Alex pipes up. 

“I didn’t!” Winn insists.

“You would have had to have met the Spectre,” I say remembering Oliver’s speech in the ruins of the Vanishing Point, Oliver had become beyond time and space. He had become a cosmic being. He died at the Dawn of Time, but maybe it was the mortal body of Oliver and the Spectre as Oliver lives on? 

"I didn't meet anyone!" Winn continues to insist, even though no one believed him anymore. 

I wipe away the few tears I had shed and cleared my throat, "you… uh… said that the light we lit for Oliver still burns in the future?" 

Winn seems to consider the question carefully before answering, “yeah, he was the first hero of the Age of Heroes. Ayla said that he was known on her home planet. He’s something of a big deal even in the 31st century; he was a human who stood equal to the likes of the Flash and Supergirl. You know I read this paper posited who would win in a fight between the Flash and the Green Arrow. The paper actually suggested that it would be the Green Arrow, but I was always Team Flash.” 

"Sorry, Winn, it was Oliver who won," smiling at the memory of Superhero fight club. 

"Uh, okay, the Flash has super speed," Winn counters. 

"And I'm telling you, Oliver beat him," I tell him, putting an end to the debate. 

“When?” Alex asks intrigued, I wish they had spent more time together, they are two of the bravest humans I’ve ever met. I think Alex and Oliver would have gotten along if we had all been on the same Earth sooner and could have just popped over to Star City. 

"After the Dominators Invasion, we had a superhero fight club. It kind of became an annual way of ending a team-up. Apparently, the first time Oliver and Barry teamed up, they decided to see who would win, and it just kind of stuck around. Oliver was the reigning champ during my first team-up," I smile at the memory after the President gave us the medals for stopping the Invasion. Then Barry and Oliver took me aside and explained about their tradition. I think it was the first time I had seen Oliver smile; he played off like it was a good training exercise, but I think he looked forward to it as much as Barry and I did." 

“Is that where you disappeared to right before we left after Earth X?” Alex asks.

“Earth X?” Kelly pipes in confused, as a new member of the Superfriends, she’s been doing a lot of catching up.

"There was an Earth, Earth X, where the Nazis won World War II," I explain briefly. 

"That sounds horrific," Kelly says, appalled. 

"It was," Alex confirms darkly. She doesn't talk much about the few hours she spent on Earth X. Only that is was horrifying and that punching out Nazis was very satisfying. Alex turns to me, "why didn't you tell me about Fight Club?" 

“What’s the first rule of Fight Club?” I quote.

“Still, I’m your sister. I totally could have taken a speedster,” Alex pouts.

"Next team up, you can do fight club with me," I promise after seeing the Danvers pout on Alex's face. Alex immediately brightens at that. 

"How did Oliver do against you?" Nia asks curiously. 

"Well, until last year, I was the champ," I tell them. 

“Who won last year?” Winn asks before Nia can. 

"Oliver, I swear a few days with Barry's powers, and he might have been back to being human, but he managed to knock me down. We all went to get a drink before I left, Oliver suggested the next fight club could happen before the end of the world was happening." I smile sadly because we never did have another fight club, while Oliver was still alive. I think last year I don't think I had seen him laugh as much as he did the whole time, I have known him. 

“Wait, you’re saying a human with superior archery skills and no kryptonite managed to knock you down?” Alex asks.

"I think the boys cheated a bit, they teamed up against me, got me down and out, and then Oliver got Barry," I explain. 

"Okay, see that makes more sense," Winn says, clearly thinking about the science involved with the three of us fighting. 

"So how does one get an invite to Superhero Fight Club?" Nia asks, trying to sound casual and failing. 

"Uh, well,there it isn't a lot of us in Fight Club, it's just me, Barry, Sara and Oliver. Oliver never wanted an audience because and I quote 'this was just for us,' and 'the geek squad might go crazy with gadgets,'" 

"You know you could make traps that are individually designed to make it harder for each hero to use their special powers, and we could…" Winn stops speaking when he notices all the eyes on him, and he quietly says, "he might have had a point about tech support I'm not calling myself the geek squad." 

The rest of us erupt into laughter at Winn. Seeing his face, I say, "I'm sorry, Winn. It's just that it was just a fun way to blow off steam, and I would have invited you Nia, but it was Oliver and Barry's Earth and their idea, but next team-up. Expect an invite." 

Nia throws a fist in the air as a victory, "I so can't wait!" then thinking about what fight club usually means, "For fight club not for the impending end of the world." 

“You know, I didn’t like him much when I first met him, but I’m gonna miss him,” I tell the room quietly. 

Kelly stands, “how about we leave for the night? So, you can have some time to process everything,” she motions for Nia and Winn to take the hint and leave with her. 

"Oh right, I am kind of tired," Nia says, faking a yawn. 

Alex tosses her keys at Winn, “I live in the same place, you can stay there tonight since your apartment is there anymore.” 

"Thanks," Winn comes and gives me a hug. Nia is right behind, and together they make their way home. 

“I’m gonna stay here tonight, but I’ll come by yours for coffee in the morning?” Alex asks her girlfriend as she walks her to the door. 

"Sounds good," Kelly gives Alex a kiss and a hug, then quietly, Kelly says, "if either of you needs anything tonight, just let me know." 

If it weren’t for my super hearing, I would have missed Alex’s equally soft reply, “I will. Let me know when you get home.” 

“I will,” Kelly promises and louder and towards me, “if you need anything, Kara?”

“Thanks, Kelly,” and I give her a wave.

Alex closes the door behind her girlfriend, and it's just the two of us, "you seem to be taking his death pretty hard." 

"He saved billions and then helped us restart the universe!" I tell her, "of course, I'm gonna be sad that he’s gone.”

Alex walks over to me and moves me towards the couch so that we can sit down at talk, "no, I mean, I'm sure that some of it, but there's more isn't there?" 

"You sure you aren't the therapist between you and Kelly?" I ask, avoiding the question. 

"Kara, what is it?" Alex says, not taking the bait. 

"He traded his life for mine," I said, tearing up, remembering him on the table in the Arrow Bunker. His dying moments about how he gave it all up for Barry and me. 

Alex puts a comforting arm around me and pulls me close, "well, he gave his life to restart the universe. To save everyone."  
"No, that's not it, well he did that too, but I think the only reason he died in Crisis was because of Barry and me," I tell her. I had been doing a lot of thinking about Crisis and Oliver's deal with the Monitor.  
“What do you mean?” 

"Last year with Dugan and the Book of Destiny, Barry and I were fated to die trying to stop the Earth's rotation giving everyone time to beat Dugan. And Oliver made a deal with the Monitor. For Barry and me to live. He made some deal with the Monitor, and it was his life he paid with," I feel the tears really falling now. Oliver is another in a long list of people whose lives have ended to protect mine. 

"You never said anything," Alex holds onto me tighter, and I think if I were human, it might edge on painful, but I find it comforting. 

“I didn’t know, neither of us did. Not until he was dying from holding off the Shadow Demons on Earth- 38. He laid there dying, saying that we were the very best of us, but I don't think he has ever really seen himself as a hero. But, Alex, he was, he has been a hero for a long time. How could he not see that?" 

“I don’t know.”

“He’s got a daughter and a son, Alex, she’s gonna grow up without their father, because of his deal. Because he saved us,” I get more worked up thinking about them growing up without Oliver 

“Woah. Okay, his kids will be okay, and they will know the hero their father was. Mia fought with us during the Crisis. She knows that her father was a hero.”

“He did have to die.”

"From what you have said about the Dawn of Time, it sounds like he might have, but none of that is on you or Barry. Okay, Oliver Queen makes his own choices, and I can't think of anyone more stubborn than him. I have to believe that what happened to him was a fate he could live with. We have to honor his choice." 

“How can I do that, when the thought of seeing his kids and Felicity, just fills me with guilt and regret.”

"If you had known about his deal, would you have let him go through with it?" 

“Of course not!” 

“It’s not your fault, what happened, and Felicity knows the man she married and that all of this was his choice. I can’t imagine her ever blaming you and Barry.” 

“I don’t know, maybe she should.”

"No, she shouldn't," Alex says forcefully. "Oliver's sacrifice gave us this new Earth, and you and me, we are going to honor that by protecting this world from any threats that might arise." 

“If the Danvers sisters can’t do it, no one can?” 

"I think that works better for game night, but yea, I'm not going anywhere. I want to honor his sacrifice, and I think the best way to do that will protect this world he created for us." 

"I don't think it's that simple," I say, wiping the tears away. 

"Maybe not, but it is a start.” 

"Yea, maybe." I lean my head on her shoulder, and we sit in silence while I try to calm down from crying. 

"It's crazy," Alex says after a while. 

“What is?”

“That Winn met Oliver in the 31st century.” 

“I’m not sure that he did, or it wasn’t just Oliver.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think Winn met the Spectre.”

“The what?” 

“Spectre. A cosmic being, in green, sith- like robes. And a deep voice that sounded like Oliver and not at the same time.” 

“Sure. Why not?” Alex scoffs, “but I still don’t really get what it is.”

“Neither do I, Oliver wasn’t exactly chatty when he was alive and becoming a Cosmic being didn’t make him more chatty,” I laugh cause while he wasn’t chatty he seemed to have developed some sort of sarcastic streak, “but I think the Spectre needs a mortal body to possess and maybe the body has to be dead. So, he couldn’t enjoy this new world he helped create because he became something else.” 

"You've given this some thought," Alex says, impressed. 

"I couldn't understand why he'd give us a fresh start and not himself, but John said something that maybe he could only do this if he died to make it happen." 

Alex gets off the couch and heads over to my counter, where the booze is still sitting out from the game night. Alex pours us both a generous glass of scotch and comes back over to the couch, "I figure he was a scotch kind of guy, growing up wealthy, so a toast to Oliver Queen," Alex lifts her glass. I clink it, "he was a hero." 

Both of us drink, Alex finishes her drink, and I follow suit, but it doesn't have the same satisfaction for me as it does for her, since I can't really feel the burn of the liquid down my throat. 

“Do you want me to go with you tomorrow?” Alex offers.

I really do, I always want Alex to come with me when stuff is hard, "no, there is going to be a few people there that don't know everyone's secret identity. Too many of us and some questions might eventually get asked." 

“When is it?” 

“At 2:00. At the Queen Mansion in Star City.” 

“Okay, if you change your mind," she sits back down on the couch with me and we snuggle up together.

“Thanks, Alex,” and I put my head on her shoulder.

Alex and I snuggle up on the couch and watch the Wizard of Oz until we fall asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I liked the idea of Superhero fight club being the way they finished team ups.


End file.
